Ever get that feeling that something was not quite right in your relationship with someone at work?
You know the feeling: you don’t know for sure – but you have a sneaking suspicion that something is wrong.
It’s a gut feel.
Maybe you said something that upset them? Perhaps they misunderstood you? Perhaps they are holding something against you?
The problem is, the knot just keeps getting bigger.
The next time you see them, you’re awkward now. You hold back. You’re nervous. You’re not how you usually are.
And the other person senses it. Perhaps they’ve got the knot now too!
You can see where this is going can’t you? Not good, huh?
So what’s really going on here? Simple – either:
(a) You were right – something you did / said has upset your colleague.
(b) You were wrong – it was nothing, you mistook a facial gesture, you misread the tone.
And that knot?
It’s nervous tension. It’s your body’s way of telling you that you need to have a conversation that you are not looking forward to.
Not comfortable, but pretty handy really.
Either way – you’ve got to address it, or the knot just won’t go away. And you know what you need to do…
Go have the conversation!
“Hey Susan, I’ve got this sneaking suspicion that you might be upset with me after the meeting yesterday. Did I say something that upset you?”
Guess what? Either:
(a) Your suspicions are correct – she really is upset. OK, not great, but at least you have now started a conversation that might resolve the issue.
(b) Your suspicions are wrong – she’s fine. You both have a good laugh and she leaves thinking: ”Wow – I’m sure glad he had the courage to bring that up, I should do that myself in the future.”
It doesn’t take an amateur Sherlock Holmes to get the moral of this story:
If you feel the knot in your stomach when you think about a relationship at work – go check-in and ask him or her if something’s wrong.
Thanks for reading,